Hypocrites? no hypocrite

Well, hypocrisy has actually depreciated in value, just like money does due to inflation. Interesting comparison eh... Well if it so be then lets delve a little further. The increase in Price of goods over a period of time leads to fall in real value of money. Similarly, it is the inflation of the general level of the ego that every person carries. There used to be a time when there were few people for whom everyone used to say that they have an attitude problem and overtly inflated ego. Well, now a days I think the level of tolerance has certainly increased. Or so to say people are ready to tolerate more just to ensure that they are able to overshadow the liberties, that they take to satisfy their ego, in the name of self-esteem.

I had once read that eagles fly only with eagles. Well, I never considered myself an eagle, so I thought of flying way below my capabilities to carry along people who were not so capable. I knew I had to be with them for a considerable time, so apply the funda of utilize your time in the best possible way: try and what ever you can in what ever situation you find yourself. So be constructive to the people and help them improve. In doing this what is at risk is the possibility of people getting you wrong and scolding... STOP!!!!!!!

What is this people, they, them etc. I never used to categorize people, I always used to treat everyone as an individual and used to look at the positives of every one. Wasn't that the reason why I thought of getting into this profession? Isn't it why I am here studying to become a HR professional. Well, ALL IZZZ NOT WELL here. I think the biggest hypocrite is right here within me. I think over a period of time i have lost myself. It is time for some soul searching and regaining what has been lost. Myself.

happy birthday to me

My first birthday away from home. I hope to do something to give this 23 years of existance some meaning.

perplexed

i move ahead with dreams in my heart . i follow the path from where i get positive vibes . didnt ever fear getting lost rather felt i will find myself as i would try to get lost in the depth . i believed in myself and was ready to back myself up . but just like a bolt out of blue comes the age of reason and shifts my focus to the reasons . couldn't work to the standards i set for myself . i find myself at an unforeseen junction of unknown paths and my lost self doesn't feel the vibes coming . my whole existence is based on the way my faith is . i work on my instincts . i don't try to find a reason for every thing i do . all reasons have kept on accumulating up in my brain and my heart and all these believes that i have accumulated throughout my existence give me the answers to all the questions with a logic i find hard to defy . but all my self asks from me is trust and loyalty . but as soon as i stop communicating to myself , i don't hear a call from within me calling me back , instead it lets me realize that the methodology i use to live my life will leave me dazed without the support of self . now i am perplexed . trying to establish the connection . it is just like the relation we have with others , a strong bond is easier to break than to make .
" whispering words of wisdom - Let It Be " . with so many shades to it , life is beautiful :)

Childrens day

hum bhi agar bacche hote,
naam hamaraa hota dabloo , babloo
khaane ko milte ladoo....

http://www.cry.org/resources/videos/cry_film2.wmv

today is 14 nov. , a day that meant a lot till about six years ago . it was great to have a few liberties in school with free periods and teachers getting involved in having fun . in fact I can even recall a couple of years when they staged some shows in the school about how we behaved in the class . we used to laugh and feel awkward on realizing how they knew about all our mischiefs . how much we used to wait for that one day full of fun . it was our day just like our birthdays . but today suddenly realized that it was children's day when i opened the paper today as there was an ad of some function that was being held . childhood is a great thing to celebrate . it is on of the longest occasion of our lives where we have fun and spread happiness to others .
I just wish that more children would actually be able to enjoy the pleasures of childhood . everyone who feels the same should try and make a conscious effort to see that the anti-child labour law reaches its goal .

Bamboozled

current status : "tujhse naaraaz nahin zindagi hairaan hoon main"

ya i know many of you are permanantly in that status ... well after my exams ended on 11 aug I decided to spend the rest of the month to realise where i stand in my life.. to understand my self , what i want , and where i am heading ... i realised that i am not really heading anywhere ... i am studying but i am not quite sure how and where i will be applyng it . well i realised i had to be creative , i realised i was not using my mind as much as i should... maybe i was following others words too much . i should literally start living my life the way i think i should .... finally i decided that i would think out what to do and when to do ... i also came across this ebook called "wisdom of osho" . spent long time on the pc , strained my eyes a lot and finished it ... while i was reading i felt i had learnt quite a lot but in the end when i analysed it then i found that the philosophy itself told me to not follow what the book preached me ... such was the paradox of the philosophy descfibed.. hehe ..
well i had decided to be creative so started spending more time towards my site , started a new blog and started playing my guitar and trying to be progressive by making effort in improving in whatever i did...
then i started to write a bit of poetry and composed a new song (atleast started to )
well i decided to clean up my computer up a bit of all the junk that i had been storing all the songs i had never heard and all the ebooks ehich i never read , and then i cleared my blogs blogroll list of the dead links , sad to see some of my old friends having stopped blogging ...

well somthing important i realised that now i was not thinking but instead doing ... i was living like others who thought that ok maybe some day i will rad the book and someday i will listen to the songs and someday i will .. & i will ....
what the hell , i relaised what am i doing . i have to start living in today ... from now on I am doing what i feel like doing and am going to make an effort to be more practical in life...
i wasted quite some time on orkut now , thinking i ll make some new friends but now no more , i'll carry on with the ones i already have , no more future speculations . similarly i'll post more often because it has often happened that i have thought i will post about something but kept postponing it ... also from now on i have a new blog , running parallel to this blog..

there was no yesterday , no tommrow and only today...

lost in time

well we are all lost in time ... yesterday , today and tommrow , just passing by like the trees and lamposts just pass away at a blink of an eye when sitting in a train . every second we live a momnet of our lives but it seems just unexplainable that is that second gone or is the moment lived by us . time seems to be there static and we seem to be lost just moving ahead leaving it back in our minds as a memory. time os never lost , but we al the zillions of beings on this earth just move ahead living a moment at every offering of the time . i dunno what i write but i am livin a moment writing it , nobody knows where this momnet will stay ya it is written here and this post is a witness of what i am doing at this momnet , maybe someday the blogger.com server will crash and it will be lost .. just recalling from whatever economics i have studied that what is a short run and a long-run in our lives ......... we dont know a thing about it , we are all lost in time ....

hey i just realised that am growin-up.

well i am alive and kickng , though just a little busy . well my cousins marriage , you see . so i am quite bussy because every day for the last one week i have been getting out of the house at 9 am and coming back at 10 pm. well actually it is the first guy who is being married in our generation. and so there is a whole lotta fuzz around and everybody is really pumped up about the marriage . ofcourse it is the first marriage that i am actually a part as the other ones were when i was very small and even the cousins getting married were too older to me so i had never mingled with them so much . this is the first marriage in 9 years and now the marriage is tommrow that is 9 dec.
well having said all that i have been very excited about the marriage . today everyone is buzy in preparing for the marriage and i am here blogging , seems starange for a guy who didnt blog for about a fortnight . well actually it feels strange today . you know i suddenly feel grown-up. in the past one year i have developed this idology that the difference between growing up and being a child is the way we see life. as a child we always feel that there is an infinite amount of time and every thing will be as it seems. whereas as gronup we know that changes are bound to come . and today when i realised that my brother with whom we all had a fun time is going to be married i do certainly feel a bit akward . like i now feel that ok hey things have to change , people have to move on . we cant stay kid for ever , we have to move ahead with life. we will now have a new member in our house, our bhabhi(sister in law) . she will be a part of our everyday life . she will be just like all cousins and aunts and everyone else who will be a part of our family . i never thought about all these and just today i realise that all that is happening is actually gonna change everybodys life . till date all i thought was that marriag€ is c€rtainly a v€ry big occassion in on€s lif€ but could n€v€r associat€ its importanc€ in on€s lif€ . today i f€€l much mor€ about th€ importanc€ of th€ occasion . w€ll i always f€lt that i f€€l th€ way oth€rs think about anything . so i am just thinkng about th€ fact that €v€n oth€rs hav€ gon€ through it and that is why i and €v€ryon€ has par€nts and famili€s so i hav€ to think lik€ grown-ups . .

life goes on

time changes many a things.... one of it is the thought process of a person...
yesterday i turned 19 years old. and as i look back at what has changed over the last one year since my last birthday i just dont seem to notice any difference... though there is one big difference in what i feel.. last year when i turned 18 i was thinking that yes now i am gonna get on with my life.. now i have stepped into the adulthood, now i would be thinking just the way others do . i wouldnt have to hesitate before saying anything . i will be responsible for anything i do , and so there will be no restriction on me. i am gonna have a chance to change this world around, i will show everyone what i am worthy of... and loads of blah blah blah......
and surprisingly throughout this year i had been thinking that my conceptions are all true and i am wiser and am more a part of this world... but now a year later i feel that NO WAIT A MINUTE !!! whats going on ... if i look back at the whole year when i was being called 18 year old well mothing has changed between the paddy on 7 sept. 2004 and 7 sept. 2005...
but what i feel has certainly changed .... earlier i was excited about a life as an adult and now i fell disgusting about the fact that now my age of innocence is gone.... now i too will be sucked into this self-centered world that will make me deal with unrealised hypocracy that exist in this world..... i dunno y i dont seem to like this world of people who act smart and seem to know a lot about life
i have some kinda uneasy feeling and i dunno what to do...
but i know life goes on and i will have to live it , and that i will..

friendship the way i see it

the relations where you cant choose are the blood relations , and the ones you can choose are called friendship ...
friendship is the the name that is the beginning of a bond between strangers..
as far as i can recall the first time ever i recognised someone as my friend had to be in the school.
actually friendships get a platform from schools itself...
where else would you see someone interacting with the same person for 10 years....
i personally believe that no one can have a greater bond than the one developed between friends who have been togeather from the school life..
well but i dont say it is always they who share the best of relationships....
actually the kind of friends u have also shows something about u and u never know when u might just run into the person u wud like to freak out with...
even a introvert person might like to be with a big-mouthed chatter-box.
cautious person might like the company of an adventureous person..
u know this is one relationship that generally has no bounds..
actually i dont think that friendship is bound to only a particular age group
i think that even if i want to interact with a 45 yrs old person then i would be terming that as friendship
eventually it is the choice that i have made to devlop a relation with someone..

but actually friendship goes much further than just the relation with others.
now i understand what it means .....
today i know there is a difference between a classmate and a friend....

e-friends

well quite early in my life i had taken a decision of not making many relationships.
thats becoz i knew not many would fit into the the way i feel about maintaining a relation.
as i had written in one of my post called relationships
what i always have felt is that i should make a bond with people only when i am sure that the relationship stays .
like i made friends who didnt keep in touch after we passed out of school...
so i started being very picky in whome i interact with..
u know i always give importance to the bonds taht i create with other people.
then suddenly i found that i am not able to express myself as freely as i should.
there seemed to have been a blockage in my head.
then i thought that a blog would be a good idea to let out my thoughts...
my brain needed some maintanance.
but still i preffered to be choosy about meeting people..
i went to many a blog but nvr commented ...
but in the process i found so many wonderful looking people that i just thought that what am i doing........
there are so many people who interact online and why am i restricting myself

what the hell should i care about
so now i ve finally started blogrolling people
most of them are the ones whome i denied of any comments on their blogs
and suddenly i see my long list in the bookmark folder getting transferred to my blog
well welcome to all the people who have come to this blog..
well i am gonna invite everyone on a special friendship week in the first week of august on my blog..
a new season of friendships....................

enjoy

enjoy life
i dunno what one means when one says that
well i am not sad about the way i am living my life
i dont have a feeling that i want anything
over the years i have evolved my thought process in such a way that i dont feel sad about anything
but yet what still remains a mystery for me is to how do i enjoy life....
i dunno what it means to enjoy life
i have nothing to complain about yet i have nothing to feel excited about
i dunno what i am asking out of myself and so i cant even find an answer to it
i just dont seem to be using my mind [or should i say that i cant use it]
there is some kinda block in there
i think a lot and i read and listen a lot but i dont seem to be understanding anything
i know i want to realise what is going on around me but i seldom find myself in alien territory
i know not what to do
but i know that i soon need to sort this out or else i am doomed for life..