life goes on

time changes many a things.... one of it is the thought process of a person...
yesterday i turned 19 years old. and as i look back at what has changed over the last one year since my last birthday i just dont seem to notice any difference... though there is one big difference in what i feel.. last year when i turned 18 i was thinking that yes now i am gonna get on with my life.. now i have stepped into the adulthood, now i would be thinking just the way others do . i wouldnt have to hesitate before saying anything . i will be responsible for anything i do , and so there will be no restriction on me. i am gonna have a chance to change this world around, i will show everyone what i am worthy of... and loads of blah blah blah......
and surprisingly throughout this year i had been thinking that my conceptions are all true and i am wiser and am more a part of this world... but now a year later i feel that NO WAIT A MINUTE !!! whats going on ... if i look back at the whole year when i was being called 18 year old well mothing has changed between the paddy on 7 sept. 2004 and 7 sept. 2005...
but what i feel has certainly changed .... earlier i was excited about a life as an adult and now i fell disgusting about the fact that now my age of innocence is gone.... now i too will be sucked into this self-centered world that will make me deal with unrealised hypocracy that exist in this world..... i dunno y i dont seem to like this world of people who act smart and seem to know a lot about life
i have some kinda uneasy feeling and i dunno what to do...
but i know life goes on and i will have to live it , and that i will..