My folks

All my life (past couple of years to be precise) I have been looking to get out of my home. Student life had become very boring. More so staying with my parents was becoming monotonous. I had always had the problem of not being able to gain trust of my parents for the plain and simple reason that I didn’t have to much to do to prove myself. And there were not many avenues for me show them that I had become mature and could care for myself. So there had always been a want of liberation. I didn’t like that other’s life (my parents) is revolving around me. I am just too small a being to call for such resources. So I finally am moving out to study and it is a great feeling. The final few days were a little awkward though. No matter how logically correct it might be it feels a bit difficult to leave my parents alone and move out. I now understand how hard it would have been for my sister when she did the same quite some time ago. There were other things like self confidence and other personal emotions that generally get importance. But this is an aspect that is hitting me the most. The lives of our parents have always revolved around us. Even if it was something like watching movies or going shopping or eat out, it was more for our pleasure than theirs. Now with my sister already out and me leaving the city and going out on my way, what will really give them a reason to go to places and take the pleasures of life. This thing kept bothering me for a long time and finally had a talk about this with my mother. She said that the fact that we were happy is what gave them happiness. And I asked what about the time when we would go out to leave our lives. Well that is the way life is what she says. That is the cycle of life. Well I beg to differ. There are so many elderly people out there who like taking pleasures of what the new world has to offer. So why is there is just a sense of responsibility in every action of theirs. They are responsible to keep us happy and so they just think about us. She says that they too enjoy the outings that they have with us. Then why it is only my places of my choice that we go. Why we eat what I like. Doesn’t it seem to be like they are doing these things because they want me to feel happy and they just go about it as a responsibility? This thing stuck to me when even I saw that when I visited my sister and she too had developed such a psyche. I have been pampered all my life by my parents, my sister, friends of my sister, my cousins, my teachers, my uncle & aunts etc. the list just goes on and on and may include almost 95% of people I have met on this planet. What I find so interesting is that I have been a person who doesn’t want to bother others in any manner. So I constantly observe other people doing things for me and keep wishing that they didn’t take all that trouble. But unfortunately I keep finding people doing that. And so naturally I want my parents to look after their own life and start enjoying because they want to, instead of taking joy in my well being. It is such an irony again that I generally don’t find myself being happy in material things. Not many are able to please with a gift that they bring for me. It is generally taken as a formality by me. I haven’t ever learned how to enjoy eating in a restaurant or roaming about a new mall that opens up in a city. So I am a perfect mismatch for the caring nature of my parents. I always feel that they could have contributed a lot to the society by their services than they devoted in bringing up a useless fellow like me. Now I am annoyed by the fact that they will keep thinking about me wherever I go. And I know that this is going to happen because I have seen that how they always keep thinking about my sister since she moved out. I don’t know how she thinks and for some strange reason I can’t ever say a thing to her about this feeling I have. Ours being a very close family it feels really strange as this day comes. Just a family of four that needs three different places to stay. Laugh on Tanuj… If you don’t laugh on the ways of life then you didn’t get the joke.