Sunday, September 07, 2008
22 years of being worthless
My blog now knows that our relationship is also of formalities. Only when there is an occasion is it going to happen that junat will turn up and log in and write a post. Ok so what is the occasion today? Well, it is Tanuj's birthday today. Its been 22 years since a disaster happened on this third rock from the sun. As usual, today, I do something that I should have made a practice of doing on a regular basis. I introspect on the time gone by. what is it? 22 years of being worthless. I just don't know what I am doing? I know I have not achieved a thing. All I have is all I was given. All that I do is condole myself that there is a reason why i am here. I say to myself that I am here for some purpose. that I have a guiding star that will take me to some where I will have something significant to contribute. I has been so and every year on this day all I say to my self is that it will happen. I would never say that my life has been a waste. I have learnt a lot but never put all that I learned into use. I always learned but what i never learned was how to perform. my life never allowed me to be just another face in the crowd. I always had the option of being at the top but I always chose the bottom, giving reasons that required a lot of character which i always lacked. I was not only a day dreamer but a person who always refused to wake up. My di always made me realize that there was an important stage of my life at every point of time but I just never cared and I know I never will. So just forget me now as I never existed just as you would when I wouldn't.
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kya huwa?
ReplyDeletenothing my birthday...
ReplyDeletejust something that happens on birthdays. another year gone without anything meaningful happening...
I arrived just to your blog because I was looking for the Yaaron dosti lyrics translation to English, but as far as I can see Tanuj you are looking for something else at this very moment.
ReplyDeleteAs a Catholic I just want to invite you to visit this web page that has help me a lot to find the way to happiness in my ordinary life, I hope it can be useful for you
http://www.opusdei.org. In case you find it useful get in contact with someone by sendding them an e-mail.
And keep this on mind God is thinking of you in each single momment. He cannot treat souls en masse! "It is not right to offend human dignity and the dignity of the sons of God by not going personally to the aid of each one" "Every soul is a wonderful treasure; every man is unique and irreplaceable. Every single person is worth all the blood of Christ"
Keep on with your interior struggle util you find the truth!
I don't know if I am worthless, I do know that I am a reject. All of life ties in together and it starts with God from Him to you. Here on Earth, I am short,Fat and Ugly. which means, I am not going to far, But to the Lord I am someone,More than flesh, blood and bones,more than my Height, or my Kinky bushy Locks. My soul and Heart is what he is looking at. I would love to have a family,be part of something good, but my lack of physical beauty puts a stop to all that. The point is Love is the most Valuable thing on Earth and Heaven and without it anything and everything is worthless as well as Pointless, and since I don't seem to qualify for man's love, I will just have to make God's love doo.
ReplyDeleteWow - I have no idea if this blog is still going, or not, or really how I ended up here surfing... but there is someone else out there with the exact same problem??? It makes me sadder in a way, but then again, not so alone. I too am disgracefully void of any physical beauty. In fact, I am the most unattractive woman I know. I am ugly, fat, and big/tall - (so I cannot even try to hide.) I will never have another romance either (and the ones I had prior... not so good). It does sadden me, that I cannot have the normal simple things in life that 90% of the population takes for granted -- fall in love, etc. I try to hold on to God's love (and my puppy dog's too - he does not care!). Thanks for the post. We will get through this life somehow.
ReplyDelete